Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
