so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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