Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
