There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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