We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
