Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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