is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
