Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
