Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
