Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
