Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
