Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
