just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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