Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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