My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They have beer where we have blood.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
