he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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