She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize