we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
