Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
