The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
