I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
