I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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