just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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