Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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