I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
