If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
