it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
