Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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