hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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