But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
