dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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