Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
