and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize