at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
