no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
