That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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