Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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