shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
