I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize