Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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