His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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