Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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