He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
