Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
