its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
