'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
