Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
