Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
