if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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