Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
