So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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