the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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