Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
