I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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