if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
