No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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